超级幽默的儿童英语冷笑话 不信你不笑

Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？

汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。

父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？

汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。

But the teacher cried 可是老师哭了

The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled（被宠坏的） . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum（乱发脾气） . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?

Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？

哭？约翰问，不，我没哭，可老师哭了。

儿子：妈妈，上帝是白人还是黑人？ 

妈妈：宝贝，上帝是白人也是黑人！ 

儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？ 

妈妈：宝贝，上帝是男人也是女人！  

儿子：哦。我知道了，上帝是迈克尔•杰克逊！

His Fault 他的错

Billy: Mother, Bobby broke a window.

Mother: How did he do it?

Billy: I threw a rock at him and he ducked.

比利：妈妈，波比打坏了窗玻璃。

妈妈：他怎么打的？

比利：我向他扔石头，他躲开了。

Like father, like son 有其父必有其子

Son: Papa, what's the meaning of " Like father, like son"?

Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?

儿子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀？

父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦？

They're Busy 他们很忙

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

"May I speak to your parents? "

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The police. "

"Can I speak to them?"

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The firemen. "

"Can I speak to them? "

"They're busy. "

"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"

"Looking for me. "

 电话铃响了，小男孩接了电话。

“请你父母听电话好吗？”

“他们很忙。”

“噢，那家里还有其他人吗？”

“还有警察。”

“我可以和他们说话吗？”

“他们很忙。”

“那还有其他人吗？”

“还有消防员。”

“我可以和他们说话吗？”

“他们也很忙。”

“请直接告诉我——你的父母、警察和消防员都在你家，但他们都很忙，他们到底在干什么？”

“在找我。”