超级幽默的儿童英语冷笑话 不信你不笑

Tom's excuse 汤姆的借口

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行。

I can not see it at all 我根本就看不见

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢？” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

 Who is Stupid 谁愚蠢

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

Lost Purse 丢失的钱包

A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。”

“没错，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。”

I know who god is 我知道上帝是谁了

A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and

 straight.

The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?